Struggling

Wow... it is sooo hard to get myself to start writing each time, as you can see from the time between the blogs! I found that when I wrote the second to last post I felt some sort of releasing of burden so I will keep on trying.
Camp was fantastic! It was great to share in memory-making experiences with these kids, many of whom are from highly disadvantaged backgrounds... poverty, isolation, transcience, family difficulties and associated dysfunction are huge. I have always worked in 'disadvantaged schools' and find the kids and their families great to work with- to see the joy felt with every experience is heartening.
Many of the kids don't get to the city at all and have never seen many cars on the roads, etc, so that was an experience in itself.
I was really tired during the weekend and relaxed, did some gardening and talked with my kids on the phone.
My youngest son had some issues with his Tourette's and associated OCD but is learning to deal with it. He is currently also struggling with the fact that his father is a 'monster' as he puts it. Professionals in this field tell me that most guys in his situation go through this time of difficulty in accepting what their father has done to them and their families- the fallout etc, and that they get through it in time. He is nearly 19 now and has been facing this difficulty for a year now.
He and his older sister share a 'unit' near the city of Adelaide. They are feeling more independent and are facing their issues as they go along.
Now and then they ask me if I'm still on the 'guilt trip' and I say that I am taking their past encouraging comments to heart to change my 'self talk' first, then hopefully the heart will follow.
They are amazing people, as are the older 2 boys who take a keen interest in them, checking but not rescuing, keeping them company, etc.
Anyway, I need to get going now... it's 10:50pm here and work awaits again tomorrow.
Bye for now...
Julie